So Much More

Why am I so broken?
I'm damaged. The pieces don't fit together. They don't make something beautiful.
I know what I want. I just can't seem to find it.
I cling to my ashes. I hold them tightly in clenched fists. My guilt defeats me and I am dressed in shame.
I see it everywhere I go, broken eyes and cracked smiles. No one cares to take a second glance. They continue walking past the pain.
I am a mess. My ability to hold myself together is slowly fading away and I cannot find the time to smile or the power to laugh.
The line between bearable and unbearable is a fine one.
I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't sleep. My heart is heavy, and every step I take is increasingly more difficult than the last.
I drift into the music, and a breath escapes my lips, my eyes close and I pray for a moment of peace.

Another day has passed and nothing has changed.

I am failing at blogging. Time slips from my fingers like grains of sand and I can't capture a single moment to form a cohesive thought.
The temperature rises, and with it, the desire to be out of school. I feel like I still have so much to do...
Summer winds blow into my small town and the cases of senioritis explode around school. "It goes by faster than you think." Isn't that the truth? It may drag and drag, but looking back...It's been so quick. A blur of life. Sure, moments stick out now and then. A great day. A life-changing event. But it's been a fast life. 15 years have washed away and I have very little to show for it.
Including a blog filled with straggles of sentences and speech that is far less than elegant.